Monday, January 1, 2018

Bad Country Flags – Why Even Bother?

Wow! Talk about phoning it in. 

Who designed these things? How long did it take them? Who exactly are we trying to kid here?


#5  Guam


I always love it when the flag designer feels a need to spell out the name. It’s a fairly popular motif for US states, but you tend not to see it elsewhere. 

That said, Guam is an American territory. And this thing was designed (in 1917) by the wife of an American naval officer. 

Would you believe, though, that it was actually even more boring at one time? Yup, turns out the red border was a later addition.

Now, though that little scene might seem as generic as could be, there’s actually quite a bit of heavy symbolism going on here:


The background of the flag is a striking deep blue, which represents the ocean, accented by a red border. In the center of the flag is an oval figure in the shape of a slingstone used by the ancient Chamoru. The flying proa, a swift, seagoing canoe, typifies the courage of the first inhabitiants who travelled intrepidly across the Pacific Ocean. The coconut tree growing in barren sand depicts the determination of the earliest settlers to overcome whatever natural causes confronted them.

By the way, the red of the border? It’s our old favorite – the blood of somebody or other who died for their land.


#4  Cyprus


Actually, there happens to be a good reason why this one is so darned bland. Turns out Cyprus really doesn’t have much cred as its own country, but is basically just divided between Turks in the north and Greeks in the South. The flag, which was created in 1960, tried to paper over that fact, coming up with something bland enough to not favor or insult either group.

And what does that leave us with? How about a very basic white background, a map of the country, and some olive branches (for peace between the two sides, of course). By the way, that rather odd color used for the country is “copper” – to represent a very important early import and also the source of the country’s name.

By the by, the country is now officially divided between the two ethnic groups. Though the Greeks have held on to the old flag, the Turks now have their own:



#3  Kosovo


Not too oddly, there’s a similar story behind this one as well. Turns out Kosovo is made up of Albanians and Serbs, who tend to fly the flags of … Albania and Serbia.

This baby was actually approved by the Kosovo Unity Team, a group organized by the UN. Can you tell?

That thing in the middle? Though it does look like an outline of the food on my plate at a Thanksgiving dinner, you probably already guessed that it’s is the country itself. 


#2  Micronesia


Ditto. This time, though, there don’t seem to be any huge conflicts or differences to explain things. It’s probably just another example of extreme politically correct UN blandness. In fact, from 1947 to 1965, the flag of Micronesia actually was the UN flag. 

Micronesia? According to Wikipedia, it’s an “independent sovereign island nation and a United States associated state.” I’m not sure what that means exactly or how that actually all works out, but I do know it’s a handful of islands in the Pacific (in particular, the wonderfully named Yap, Pohnpei, Chuuk, and Kosrae).


#1  Somalia


Okay, so it’s back to bland official inoffensiveness again. You probably know something about this country, and how incredibly divided it is. Well, things weren’t really all that different when the country was created. The flag that was adopted back then was simply the one that had flown over the country when it was administered by the UN for several years after WWII. 

Just to remind you of what the UN flag looks like:


You know, this one actually has a lot more going on, doesn’t it?


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